


Flee Your Sins

by BigBadLittleRed



Category: Grimm (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Original Characters - Freeform, Past Character Death, past trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-15
Updated: 2015-03-15
Packaged: 2018-03-17 23:00:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3546995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BigBadLittleRed/pseuds/BigBadLittleRed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick always seems to take cases involving children with more dedication than the rest of them... After a case goes wrong, a child dies and Nick's past resurfaces.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flee Your Sins

**Author's Note:**

> (I understand that cases where children are in danger are more heartbreaking than most cases.. But it always seems like in that moment when Nick helps a kid, a weight lifts off his shoulders.. That darkness in his eyes fades away.. Almost as if there's something he's experienced that he relives in those times... Here's my take on it!)

"Look we can work this out.. She doesn't deserve this.." Nick says calmly, even though his heart is beating so fast he thinks it's going to burst out of his chest.

 

The man is standing on the ledge of a bridge that has a chasm beneath it, filled with just enough water to wash away bodies off of the sharp rocks hidden beneath its depths. He has his daughter in his arms, eight years old.. Her eyes are bright blue, fearful, round little face covered in tears. It's splotchy red where it is usually porcelain colored, and her hair is a messy blonde.

 

Her name is Lia.

 

"You're lying to me... You'll corrupt her mind." The man snarls, he's insane.. Clinically insane, he believes that everyone works for aliens and the aliens are working with the government.

 

"No, I just want to keep her safe.. Come down from there.." Nick pleads, the man has a hand over the girl's mouth, but she's whimpering softly as she struggles in his arms. She's lost one of her little light up sneakers in the process, only a purple sock visible. She's so small and frail, he can't let this happen!

 

"LIARS!" He leaps, Nick races forward.

 

His fingertips brush the man's neck before he's out of reach, Lia lets out a piercing wail as they plummet. Nick can only watch as they meet with the rocky water and disappear under the murky depths. He stands there in shock listening to the cops shouting at each other to head down to find the bodies.

 

_Bodies_

 

She was eight, eight years old.. She loved the color purple, and liked to finger paint, according to her mother.. Her little room was filled with horses, and she made friends with everyone... She never hated, the world hadn't even had a chance to taint her innocence.

 

He turns away from the ledge, eyes finding the little light up sneaker on the pavement. Nick leans down and scoops it up, it's the size of his hand, a little smaller actually. Cold flames lick at his lungs, he walks back to his car, not bothering to listen to Hank as he passes him.

 

-

 

Nick sits in his trailer for what seems like an eternity, staring at nothing as he lays in the little bed on his side. He can still see the girl's glassy eyes, silently pleading for him to help her.. But he failed, he failed her.. She's dead. She never even got the chance to even grow up!

 

How could he let that happen!?

 

The trailer door opens, he knows who it is.. He doesn't have to look, he'd ignored Hank on his way to the car. He knows he called them.. He usually does when he's worried about Nick.

 

"Nick?" Rosalee's voice is quiet, a hand gently falls on his arm, rubbing along it soothingly.

 

"Hank called.." Monroe murmurs, a larger, but gentle hand rests on his leg.

 

"You okay?" Rosalee whispers, Nick doesn't even have the heart to lie.

 

"No."

 

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart.." Rosalee presses her lips to the back of his head, fingers running through his hair.

 

"I could have saved her..." Nick mutters.

 

"If you could have, you would have, man.. Bad things happen to good people, you can't always stop it.." Monroe assures, squeezing his leg lightly.

 

"She was so small... Innocent.. She didn't deserve that.." The Grimm whispers brokenly.

 

"Nick, it's not your fault.." Rosalee tells him with conviction.

 

"It was.. If I was just a little closer.. I could have grabbed her.. She'd be alive..." He says to himself.

 

"Come on, it's cold outside.. And I know this trailer doesn't have good heating.." Monroe says to him, before they tug him off the day bed and lead him to the door.

 

Rosalee's hands are touching him as he follows behind Monroe, running up and down his back, along his arms.. But all he can think about is a small little girl with pale blue lips as she's dragged from the water.

 

-

 

Once they've arrived at the house, Nick's completely silent. He lets Monroe take off his jacket and lifts up his feet so he can remove his shoes. He's not sure why he doesn't do it himself, but Monroe doesn't seem to be questioning it. Rosalee disappears into the kitchen as Nick is ushered into the living room.

 

Monroe sits him down on the middle of the couch, lowering himself to Nick's right.

 

Rosalee comes back with hot cocoa for them, they drink while watching some TV show he can't pay attention to. They head to bed shortly after, Nick's thoughts still racing as the lights are turned off. Rosalee curls up into his side, clutching at his t-shirt gently, Monroe's arm is around his waist, fingertips brushing against Rosalee's hand.

 

He closes his eyes, all he can see is those pleading eyes.

 

-

 

_The snow is pure and white, the air crisp, biting at their rosy cheeks as they race together through the trees._

 

_"Catch me Nicky!" She giggles, toddling away. He stands there a moment, letting her get a head start. Momma always told him that since she was younger, she wasn't nearly as fast or strong as him. He needed to be gentle, patient, and caring.. Most of all, he had to protect her._

 

_Nick races after her, searching around for that bright pink coat and dark head of hair._

 

_"I'm gonna find you, Jo-Jo!" He calls, grinning as he prowls after the crunching of her little boots pouncing through the snow._

 

_There's a giggle not far ahead, he leaps out from the trees to find his little sister walking along the thinly iced water of the lake._

 

_"Joanna! Come back here, it's not safe!" He shouts, heart beginning to beat faster. She turns around, black hair whirling with the movement. Her lips are still slightly curved into a smile, but it starts to fall at the urgency in his voice and on his face._

 

_She looks around, then there's a loud CRACK!_

 

_"Joanna!" He screams, stepping forward. The ice breaks from beneath her, she screams, going under._

 

_He inches onto the ice, it creaks in protest, but he moves forward again when her head resurfaces._

 

_"Nicky!" She cries, scrabbling at the ice. He goes down on all fours, crawling towards her slowly._

 

_"Hold on, Joanna.. Grab hold of the ice!" He commands, hand already reaching out towards her._

 

_"It's slippery!" The girl gasps, splashing around, he hears a desperate sob come from her. He stretches a little farther, but the ice around him is beginning to crack._

 

_"It's gonna be okay Jo.. I'm right here.." He assures her, her little hand grasps the air just near his hand. He jerks forward, but she sinks before he can latch on, some more ice breaking off in the process._

 

_"Joanna!" He screams, but she doesn't come up again._

_-_

 

"Nick!" He jerks awake, gasping from the memory of his dream.

 

"It's all right, Nick.." Monroe assures him, hand wiping at his sweaty bangs. Rosalee is rubbing at his chest softly, humming softly like she did on their bad days. He takes in a deep breath, collecting himself and blinking away the tears.

 

"I thought the girl's name was Lia.." Monroe murmurs after a minute.

 

"It was.." Nick croaks, sitting up so Monroe can slide behind him and pull his back against the Blutbad's chest. Rosalee sits between his legs, drawing designs on his chest with her fingers soothingly.

 

"Who's Joanna, then?" Rosalee asks. Nick's throat locks up, he swallows roughly and squeezes his eyes shut.

 

"She... My little sister.." He whispers. They're both silent, still, time would appear frozen if it weren't for the ticking of the clock on the bedside table.

 

"Sister.." Monroe repeats, Nick nods.

 

"Is she..?" Rosalee lets her voice trail off, light brown eyes gazing into his own with sadness and concern.

 

"Dead... She drowned." He mutters, the words make his chest feel all the more hollow.

 

"How old was she?" The Fuchsbau questions.

 

"She was six..." Nick tells them, chewing on his lip. At first he doesn't want to say anything... But he hasn't talked about this since he was ten, he never wanted to until now.

 

"We were playing in the snow, November, 1990... I was ten years old.. She ran out onto a frozen lake.." He explains softly.

 

"She was so small, standing on that big lake.. I screamed for her to get off, it wasn't safe.. But she turned around and the ice broke underneath her." He says with teary eyes.

 

"She came back up at first... I crawled across the ice, I was almost there.. She was crying and splashing, calling out for me... I told her it was going to be okay, I touched her hand... But then she was gone." His voice breaks and he brings a hand up to cover his mouth.

 

"That wasn't your fault either, Nicky..." Monroe says sternly, hands wrapped around his waist that squeeze him firmly.

 

"We weren't even supposed to be out there.. My Aunt Marie was watching us while my parents were gone.. She was busy, I told Jo-Jo that I'd take her into the forest to play.." He gets out after a moment. They're quiet now, listening with rapt attention, Rosalee has tears in her own eyes. No doubt Monroe probably does too.

 

"I ran home to get my Aunt, she called the police but it was too late.. They pulled her body from the water. My mom got home, she was so upset.. My dad was crying his eyes out. But my mom was angry.. She yelled at my aunt, then shook me a little.. 'You should have protected her! That was your job!'" Nick's close to sobbing now, breathing raggedly as the memories resurface like his baby sister never did.

 

"I-I remember thinking that she was right.. It was my fault, she was so.. so tiny and helpless.. Why didn't I help her? I could have reached a little farther... Or even caught her before she got on the ice.." He lets Rosalee dive forward to hug him, Monroe's arms still firmly encircled around his chest.

 

"You did all you could, Nick..." Monroe whispers, Nick chokes on his next breath.. He squeezes his eyes shut...

 

_**It wasn't good** **enough.** _

 

-

 

After he calms down a little, they get situated in bed again. Monroe is pressed against Nick's back, lips kissing softly at the back of his neck. He's curled against Rosalee's chest, head on one of her arms, face tucked under her neck.

 

He falls into an uneasy sleep after a long time of winding down.

 

-

 

The next day, he digs through an old box of his, searching until he finds a picture of  Joanna. It's one of them on Halloween. Nick is Peter Pan, tights and everything... Jo is Tinker Bell, in a pretty yellow-green outfit. She's smiling brightly, hugged against Nick's side while he holds a sword against his father who is dressed as Hook.

 

Nick shows Monroe and Rosalee, who smile sadly at the picture.

 

"She's adorable.." Rosalee whispers.

 

"Yeah... She really was." Nick murmurs, blinking back the tears that cloud his vision. He wishes she could be here now, wonders what she would think of him... He wonders what she would be like, look like..

 

"Do you think she would have been a Grimm?" Nick asks them softly.

 

"It's a possibility." Monroe shrugs.

 

"Sibling Grimms. I wish.." Nick sighs wistfully through the tears leaking down his face.

 

Maybe they would have been.. He's not sure if he would want that or not.

 

"Maybe it's better I don't know." He murmurs mostly to himself.

 

-

 

He finds another picture of them, places it in his wallet. It's a family picture, Nick on his father's shoulders, Joanna in his mother's arms. All of them smiling so brightly..

 

Beside it is a picture of Nick, Monroe, and Rosalee. It was taken on Monroe's birthday, they're all sitting on the couch, arms around each other's shoulders. Nick between Monroe and Rosalee, Nick's making a face, which Rosalee had spotted and tilted her head back to laugh at.. Monroe's looking over at both of them with utter infatuation.

 

Monroe sees him staring at the wallet and asks him what he's looking at.

 

"Family.." Nick answers solemnly, tucking it into his pocket.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
